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The cake is a disaster so I have had to go a different route with it and make a new cake at the last minute.



The food, that I am making, is now all prepped and ready to go.



Decorations are in the van and ready for in the morning.



My father and step mother are ensconced in the campground, but the RV is having issues. Spent a good 3.5 hours trying to help them out with that and loosing time to work on the cake and prep stuff.



Its now 0049 (12:49am) PST and I have to call it a night. My schedule is shot and I had to just give up on it for today because of all the little things...



Tomorrow starts at 0700 and its crammed full.. I want to cry already and my stress is through the roof. I can not afford for anything else to go wrong right now, I really cant. I don't have time for it.



I miss KO so much in times like this.. He would be a godsend at this moment.



Now.. lets hope I remember the camera for the party so I can take pictures.

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Kitsuna
09:42 Aug 22 2009

Just remember, it'll all be worth it in the end.



And with that, I realize I should really practice what I preach. =]

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Sinora
16:51 Aug 22 2009

I hope you can keep the stress in check and have a really good day.

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Irony
23:36 Aug 22 2009

Good luck with it all, though I am sure once it is all over you will remember it being a fantastic day. I am certain she will love it:)

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Also posted in the VR Forum.

:)

*********

Happy Birthday WolfBite

Posted: 23:20:38 - Aug 17 2009

Times viewed: 2

PREMIUM MEMBER: | OPEN | RIP | RIA | MOVE |



Who turns 16 around 9am on the 18th of August.



You changed my world irrefutably.

I have learned a great many truths about life with you.

I have learned patience and understanding.

I have learned control of self.

I have learned to think that I am in charge of some things. :D

I have learned that sticking to the rules I set can often times be hard, especially when I have to tell you no.

I have learned that boys can be friends and that does not mean they are "boyfriends"... just friends.

I have learned that I would do just about anything for you.

I have learned that not all of my nightmares of what could happen to you will all come true.

I have learned that when you look at me and start sentences with "Mommy" that you don't always want something.. well.. sometimes you don't.

I have learned that I would give my life for you if I had too.

I have learned that when the emergency room is several miles away and I have to get there, there are no such things as speed limits.

I have learned that teenage girls are a pain in the butt too...





Happy Birthday my darling. :)



Love Mom

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Trikki
13:49 Aug 18 2009

Awww....Happy Birthday to Wolfy :)

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I am not sure how I am supposed to feel right now. This is a big thing in our lives, for all intents and purposes it is a mile stone.



I sit here and try and formulate words from thoughts and images in my mind and I am left speechless. Almost fearful of what will happen from this point on.



Its almost like there is a tugging at my heart and my mind that says "Hey you need to start preparing to let go." But I cant do that. Time is to precious a gift to be squandered.



I look at them while they are sleeping, much as I did when they where new into this world. I have watched them grow from these tiny creatures that I could hold in my arms into people that are almost as tall as me. I look at them and wonder, did I do the right things make the right choices. Pick the right battles. I will always wonder what if.. should I have done something different or changed something in some small way.. Should I have been less strict on certain things or less worried or heck, more worried... What if? Should I? Maybe if..



I look at their things all around me and have to laugh. How many times today have I asked or yelled to have something picked up and put away. To have things taken to certain places within our home.



Did I listen enough to them today, do I know what is important to them? Do I have the right information about their friends.



The other day I got this overwhelming feeling that I had to remember exactly what she was wearing when I dropped her off at the collage library to spend time with Alison. Her mom is the collage Librarian. I went over everything in my mind, everything from the color of the shoe laces in her shoes to was she wearing her hair in a pony tail or was it down. Did she have a bag with her and what color was it? Did it have any distinguishing markings on it? Would I remember it if I needed too? Why did I get that feeling? She was fine when I picked her up, but I still had that feeling.



I get paranoid when I don't know where they are, for the most part I know the general locations. Iae has this bad habit of late of starting off where he says he is going to be and then ending up in places he didn't ask to go. I go looking for him each time too. When I find him I give him hell and its always the same "I forgot to ask if I could go over here, and all my friends came over here." I don't argue I just say that next time he needs to tell me if he is changing locations. One of the neighbor kids popped off a comment about "Yeah cause she will come hunt you down if she does not know where you are, like last time." I turned to that little twerp and said. "Yes, yes I will because I love him enough to go looking for him when he is not where he is supposed to be. To know where he is and that he is not running around like some out of control hoodlum." I was not surprised to be asked by a parent if I called her son a hoodlum. I repeated the conversation and what I said in the exacts. She stalked off. that is not my problem. I realise that I know where most of the neighborhood kids go when they are outside, because of the simple fact that I keep as close of an eye on my son as I can.



But that does not change the fact that our world is changing yet again. Growth spurts are already happening in some very noticeable ways.



So what has brought all of this on you ask? Its simple really.



This year I will officially have two teenagers in my home. Wolfbite turns 16 and Iae turns 13. Mile stones. Ko wont be home for them and he is not liking that but, its what has to happen right now. He misses them and we miss him.



: sighs: I need sleep and I still have so much to do between now and Wolfbites Luau on the 22nd.

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Theban
10:16 Aug 11 2009

Wow, a little soul searching going on here me thinks! I understand every word that you have written. I have two children who are just under 7 years old, they think they are inmortal and that nothing can harm them( I guess I did once, when I was young)



I worry when they are at other childrens houses...are the parents looking after my children...are they making sure no harm will come to them... It's difficult to show them the beauty of the world when there is also the darkness.



The other thing I have come to realise and I know that it's wrong, I would go to prison if someone harmed my children. The justice in my country is rubbish. So I would take my own justice!

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LadyChordewa
21:32 Aug 11 2009

*Hugs* I'm here if you need me.

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Damn is her son pissed that I spent the afternoon with her. She had a great time with the kids and we took her to lunch. We even got to go into her apartment and see her place, he has not been allowed to do so. I dint see how that is my fault, it certainly wont cause me any sleep loss tonight.



The kids and I took the ferry from Mukilteo to Clinton and then drove to Coupeville. It was a nice drive. The kids went up to the top deck of the ferry and I stayed in the car.



We went to the Wharf to Kim's for lunch and had a nice time looking at the boats and the water. Bev's legs where hurting her so she and I sat on a bench while the kids went wild down on the beach. Wolfbite tried to push Iae in, he spun around and got her on the back with his hand unexpectedly and she almost toppled into the brown algae covered water.



We walked to some stores and did a little shopping. Bev was a bit worried about my finances but I assured her that I had budgeted for this particular day trip since the middle of June.



We went back to her place and talked for a while. The kids telling stories of school and friends. I got caught up on all of Beverly's other children and their various family states. Was a bit surprising hearing some of the stuff but meh crap happens.



She had apparently made brownies for the kids for us to take home. We thanked her for that. when it came time to leave.



The kids hugged her and so did I.. I also told her "You know Bev, I never stopped loving you no matter what. You have always been "Mom" to me.. Even through Joseph's and my divorce and everything that happened with it." She almost started to cry.. she apologies for everything that she took part in during that divorce ordeal, it took many years to finalise. She hugged me again and said that she always loved me too but she had to stand by her son, even if she didn't agree with him. I said I understood that.



She said to me " You are still my Daughter, even though you are not my daughter in law anymore." I said good.. "Cause it was very hard not to call you Mom today." She said she understood and she would be blessed if I would still call her mom. I said I would.



Joseph is seething in his anger at the moment, his issue not mine.

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LadyChordewa
07:14 Aug 06 2009

Well, I have two ex mother in laws.....one I wouldn't mind seeing again, but she is viciously protective of her poor little baby.



The other, could drop dead as far as I am concerned.



My current one......*Fingers Crossed*.

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I am afraid to turn around...

The mass giggling and gasping for breath and "MOMMY YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS TEEHEE" is almost to tempting..



Must resist..



"OMG" and "Sis look HAHAHHA" its hilarious..



Must resist..

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Silverbow
06:18 Aug 06 2009

HAHA I caved I looked.. Wolfbite has fallen off the couch laughing so hard.. I think she may have to crawl to the bathroom before she has an accident..



The boy is cracking up and on the floor as well. HAHa

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LadyKrystalynDarkstar
06:27 Aug 06 2009

SOOOOO what was so funny????????? We need to know.

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Silverbow
07:00 Aug 06 2009

Ha apperently there was a raccoon that looked like it ate a bowling bawl trying to get into a garbage can through a pet door. It apperently got stuck..



And a hell of alot of other "funny" videos.. I didnt look at what they where laughing at.. just at them.. that was funny enough for me. HAHA

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